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I feel like an alien

In my own skin

With a brain like

The walking dead

A werewolf that

Can never change

A vampire gone unfed

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Lonely Fate. 

I won’t wake up and roll over

To kiss anyone’s face

I’ll never come home

To a warm embrace

That’s just a fantasy 

That I’ll never know

It feels like it’s destiny

That I’ll end up alone

I’ve heard every reason 

Know ever excuse

“Too good. Not enough.

I just can’t handle you.”

Some people are so lucky

They don’t even know 

To have someone who won’t

Think of letting go

Tonight’s another night 

I’ll go home on my own

In the morning I’ll face fate 

I’m meant to be alone

Dead

Why do I always feel so dead

I get so lost inside my head

Why can’t I connect

I’d rather just stay in bed

I don’t want to eat

Or work

Or see my friends 

Why do I always feel so dead

An empty heart and air filled head

Why do I feel so dead

Waste My Time. 

I’m always meant to wait

While someone else

Decides my fate

I’m always told to stay

Maybe they’ll want me someday

And maybe they won’t

They’ll walk away unscathed 

Leaving my heart broke

And I’m sure I’ll apologize 

For wasting all their time
But what about mine?

Unattached

You say you can’t

Handle this

Can’t handle me

Because one day

You’ll have to leave

You can’t get attached

For fear of getting stuck

You’re so glad 

We’ve never fucked

You won’t hold my hand

But you’ll kiss me in the dark

Cuddle up until

You’ve got a grip on my heart

I know you say 

You’ll have to leave one day

But what about me

I know you can’t

Get attached

Because of feelings

You might have

Should I sit here

While you make up you mind

Deciding if being with me

Would be fine

Let you waste 

All of my time

I guess that’s fine

You say you want this 

But you don’t know

So maybe it should be me

Who decides if you go

Hold it against me. 

I get so close to

Breaking my shell

Burning my walls 

Letting you in

But then you have me

Mixing up cement again

I try to reach out

But you slap my hand

Tell me you know me

Know exactly how I am

I can’t help you 

So you’ll help yourself

But can’t you see 

It’s you who

Shuts me out

Turns me down

Slams the door in my face

But that’s how I am

At the end of the day

At least you won’t hold it against me

Or so you say

Doesn’t Concern Me

When I said it wasn’t my business

I meant I wanted it to be

I was bothered by the things

That shouldn’t have concerned me

Because I found myself wanting 

More than I should be

Knowing all along 

It would never come to be

But I’ll still take your calls

All night until the morning

And hang out with you

Even when we’re boring

I hide the stupid thoughts

Inside my head

Keep them there 

Until I’m dead

Because I wish you knew 

That when I said

It wasn’t my business

I wanted it to be

Like Me

I never wanted her to be like me

Think like me

Tear herself to shreds like me

We weren’t meant to share this cruel destiny

She was supposed to be smart like me

Sharp like me

With out the hate I have for myself

She was supposed to feel the love

Like someone else

But now I see

What I missed

The thoughts so hidden

A terrible twist

She’s like me

My greatest fear

She hides it so deep 

For no one to see
Just like me

Walls

I put up a wall

It touches the sky

All those who climb it

I swear will die

I built it up

Before I knew

Now it’s so high

There’s no getting through

I laid down the foundation

Brick by brick

Mixed up the mortar

So I know it’ll stick

I put in no door

Or windows to see

Added no drain

So I can drown 

In my own misery

I put in a stair way

That goes no where

Now all that I do

Is climb up those stairs

I look up high

The light a pin point

In the sky

I climb and I climb

But there’s nothing to find

Stranger I Knew

We treat each other like strangers

A casual hi, hey, hello

Act like we have no idea

About the intimacies we know

I know that I wonder 

The things that you thought

Wonder if you think about me

Still or if not

Not that it matters

It won’t change you or me

Will never make us the we

That neither of us could be