100

I feel like an alien

In my own skin

With a brain like

The walking dead

A werewolf that

Can never change

A vampire gone unfed

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Winters Night

In the dead of the night

With nowhere else to go

I’ll watch the snow fall

As the howling wind blows

I’ll let the cold burrow

Deep into my bones

I’ll let my thoughts scatter

Into the unknown

Wondering what it’ll take

For me to feel at home

Wondering if I’ll ever 

Stop feeling so alone

It took the silence of a snow fall

To ease my trembling heart

With the darkness of the world 

I realized mine wasn’t falling apart

As the cold seeped in

I realized that while it might be thin

My soul was there

With out a tear

It might be a little worse for wear

But it’s still there

Soul on Fire

The little girl

With a soul so sweet

Never did any wrong 

That you could see

Your little girl

With her soul on fire

Pull up her sleeve 

And call her a liar

You can’t see the sadness 

She hides deep inside

Like she can’t see her light

Or how it shines

The little girl

With a soul so sweet

Never did any wrong

To anybody

Else, besides herself

Pull up her sleeve

And see

How the good do bleed

Limbo

Show me what you feel

And show me what you mean

Show me because sometimes

I put too much into how things seem

Tell me what you know

And tell me what you think

So I don’t have to guess

I make the worst of everything

Prove that you care

Or even that you don’t

One thing I cannot stand 

Is staying in limbo

Forever of the edge

Of maybe, maybe not

The fear of never knowing

If it is, or if not

So won’t you just tell me

What you know and what you think

So I can put an end 

To my constant questioning 

Dead

Why do I always feel so dead

I get so lost inside my head

Why can’t I connect

I’d rather just stay in bed

I don’t want to eat

Or work

Or see my friends 

Why do I always feel so dead

An empty heart and air filled head

Why do I feel so dead

Waste My Time. 

I’m always meant to wait

While someone else

Decides my fate

I’m always told to stay

Maybe they’ll want me someday

And maybe they won’t

They’ll walk away unscathed 

Leaving my heart broke

And I’m sure I’ll apologize 

For wasting all their time
But what about mine?

Unattached

You say you can’t

Handle this

Can’t handle me

Because one day

You’ll have to leave

You can’t get attached

For fear of getting stuck

You’re so glad 

We’ve never fucked

You won’t hold my hand

But you’ll kiss me in the dark

Cuddle up until

You’ve got a grip on my heart

I know you say 

You’ll have to leave one day

But what about me

I know you can’t

Get attached

Because of feelings

You might have

Should I sit here

While you make up you mind

Deciding if being with me

Would be fine

Let you waste 

All of my time

I guess that’s fine

You say you want this 

But you don’t know

So maybe it should be me

Who decides if you go

Hold it against me. 

I get so close to

Breaking my shell

Burning my walls 

Letting you in

But then you have me

Mixing up cement again

I try to reach out

But you slap my hand

Tell me you know me

Know exactly how I am

I can’t help you 

So you’ll help yourself

But can’t you see 

It’s you who

Shuts me out

Turns me down

Slams the door in my face

But that’s how I am

At the end of the day

At least you won’t hold it against me

Or so you say

Doesn’t Concern Me

When I said it wasn’t my business

I meant I wanted it to be

I was bothered by the things

That shouldn’t have concerned me

Because I found myself wanting 

More than I should be

Knowing all along 

It would never come to be

But I’ll still take your calls

All night until the morning

And hang out with you

Even when we’re boring

I hide the stupid thoughts

Inside my head

Keep them there 

Until I’m dead

Because I wish you knew 

That when I said

It wasn’t my business

I wanted it to be

Up Down

I can see your chest
Up then down
But you’re lifeless
A corpse
Who refuse to feel
Can’t take the pain
But it’s pain that you deal
The cuts dig in so deep
But I know
Not as deep as you need
In the bottle you drown
Drink to the bottom
Another one down
I’ll try to be what you need
But I know
It’ll never be me
I’ll watch you asleep
As I sit in this chair
You’re here
But I’m over there
It’s not the first time
It won’t be the last
I’ll watch over you
As I have in the past
This is what we have
I want more
But I won’t push
You leave me tore
Always craving
Something more
But it’s you
Not me
You can’t be
The thing that I need
So I’ll stay here
One more night
Watch again
Again as you fight