Scars (the one I won’t talk about)

As I try to find the words

For how you fucked me up

I realized there’s nothing to say

But with the scars I’m stuck

You took me to my lowest point

A hole you dug yourself

Convinced me it was only you

And to push everyone else out

You made me feel crazy

For thinking things that were real

Every time I would question

You’d start to spin the wheel

To how I didn’t trust you

Didn’t love you

Couldn’t feel

Made me out to be

Just some little broken thing

Who couldn’t see the truth

The one that you did choose

Every fight was ended

With the same empty threat

Lock the bathroom door

Say you should kill yourself

Leaving me pleading

Begging to help

Now looking back

I finally see you

The coward

The liar

The vile cheat

There were so many things

You wouldn’t let me see

How you used me

Abused me

Made me question myself

Now I fear I’m ruined

Never to trust someone else

Lonely Fate. 

I won’t wake up and roll over

To kiss anyone’s face

I’ll never come home

To a warm embrace

That’s just a fantasy 

That I’ll never know

It feels like it’s destiny

That I’ll end up alone

I’ve heard every reason 

Know ever excuse

“Too good. Not enough.

I just can’t handle you.”

Some people are so lucky

They don’t even know 

To have someone who won’t

Think of letting go

Tonight’s another night 

I’ll go home on my own

In the morning I’ll face fate 

I’m meant to be alone

Limbo

Show me what you feel

And show me what you mean

Show me because sometimes

I put too much into how things seem

Tell me what you know

And tell me what you think

So I don’t have to guess

I make the worst of everything

Prove that you care

Or even that you don’t

One thing I cannot stand 

Is staying in limbo

Forever of the edge

Of maybe, maybe not

The fear of never knowing

If it is, or if not

So won’t you just tell me

What you know and what you think

So I can put an end 

To my constant questioning 

Waste My Time. 

I’m always meant to wait

While someone else

Decides my fate

I’m always told to stay

Maybe they’ll want me someday

And maybe they won’t

They’ll walk away unscathed 

Leaving my heart broke

And I’m sure I’ll apologize 

For wasting all their time
But what about mine?

Unattached

You say you can’t

Handle this

Can’t handle me

Because one day

You’ll have to leave

You can’t get attached

For fear of getting stuck

You’re so glad 

We’ve never fucked

You won’t hold my hand

But you’ll kiss me in the dark

Cuddle up until

You’ve got a grip on my heart

I know you say 

You’ll have to leave one day

But what about me

I know you can’t

Get attached

Because of feelings

You might have

Should I sit here

While you make up you mind

Deciding if being with me

Would be fine

Let you waste 

All of my time

I guess that’s fine

You say you want this 

But you don’t know

So maybe it should be me

Who decides if you go

Unnoticed 

There was no fight

Or bitter words

The falling out

Went quite unheard 

The silence came

In a slow diminuendo

Much as it started 

With a quick crescendo 
Never noticed 

As things went

Did not think

I’d lose a friend

Since no fight was had

No bitter words

A quiet end 

Went all unheard 

Doesn’t Concern Me

When I said it wasn’t my business

I meant I wanted it to be

I was bothered by the things

That shouldn’t have concerned me

Because I found myself wanting 

More than I should be

Knowing all along 

It would never come to be

But I’ll still take your calls

All night until the morning

And hang out with you

Even when we’re boring

I hide the stupid thoughts

Inside my head

Keep them there 

Until I’m dead

Because I wish you knew 

That when I said

It wasn’t my business

I wanted it to be

Stranger I Knew

We treat each other like strangers

A casual hi, hey, hello

Act like we have no idea

About the intimacies we know

I know that I wonder 

The things that you thought

Wonder if you think about me

Still or if not

Not that it matters

It won’t change you or me

Will never make us the we

That neither of us could be

Solitary Sport

I found someone whose heart

Holds as much despair as mine

We met at the bottom

Of a bottle of wine

We could drink it all

But drown anyway

Because drinking the sea

Wouldn’t ease the pain

We could stay together

But together we won’t be

It’s a solitary sport

This degree of misery

So while we’re both alone

I’ll be missing you

You missing me

Thinking of the nights we shared

Vague memories

I’ll think back 

And wonder

How it got this way

Think back, wonder

If I could have made you stay

His Girl

There was no
“Please don’t go”

“I need you to stay”

“I know we can find a way”

It was never me

It never is

Because you know that girl?

That one’s his

She’s the one in his heart

The one that’s tearing me apart

It’s what I knew

What was said

Still I ended

In his bed

A late night call

“No I’m alone”

That’s what was said

On the phone

To me he said they were done

But in his thoughts

She still runs

Now I know the truth at last

There is no stay

No find a way

I’m just another girl

It’s just another day