Up Down

I can see your chest
Up then down
But you’re lifeless
A corpse
Who refuse to feel
Can’t take the pain
But it’s pain that you deal
The cuts dig in so deep
But I know
Not as deep as you need
In the bottle you drown
Drink to the bottom
Another one down
I’ll try to be what you need
But I know
It’ll never be me
I’ll watch you asleep
As I sit in this chair
You’re here
But I’m over there
It’s not the first time
It won’t be the last
I’ll watch over you
As I have in the past
This is what we have
I want more
But I won’t push
You leave me tore
Always craving
Something more
But it’s you
Not me
You can’t be
The thing that I need
So I’ll stay here
One more night
Watch again
Again as you fight

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I play at the face

 Like I love every day

You’ll never know

They’ll never see

How much I do hate

How I hate being me

The words that I say

And every last damn day

I hope it’s the last

The future is the past

It’ll never change 

This life is always the same

As hard as I push

I’ll push them away

Like claws on my chest

Hands at my neck

I need them to stay 

But still I push them away

Like a suffocating hand

Taking my last breath

I’ll live this day

But I’ll wish it’s my last