Added Burden

You didn’t care

You were never there

You’d watch me walk away

And then you’d say: ‘good day’

Like I was just a given

As if I couldn’t go

You think I have to stay here?

Well know I’ll let you know:

I am not your burden

I am not your anything

You are not good to me

I will be no ones play thing

So take your stupid words

You should know they mean nothing

And tomorrow I’ll take my stuff

Then you’ll see me take my leave

With your effort I could have tried

But you just set me aside

One more added burden

One more attention seeking thing

One more pointless distraction

As if that’s what I mean

To you I know I do

Is it said to say that’s true?

But this is my last bye

This is the last fucking time

I have tried and I’ve tried

But still I’m slipping on by

 

 

 

T

 

 

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8/26/2013 1:41 pm

What is the date,

What is the time?

Do you think I’ve lost my mind?

I’m waiting here

For no one to come

What if they show? I’m sure only your god would know.

What is the date,

What is the time?

I lose track of things from my mind

What is this place,

What is this kind?

This is me, as I ‘m losing my mind.

Panic.

My nails they scratch against my chest

Trying to make me take one more breath

My knees are week as I fall

Mind a blank but not at all

Vision blurred, the room it spins

I don’t want to do this again

My breath it comes but far to fast

Just another panic attack

Falling

Castle dreams of the sky

Up to the roof I’ll try to fly

At the edge, cant see the ground

If I jump will I be found?

Closer now then I’ll ever get

Heaven’s there, past my finger tips

Not going up, my path is down

Maybe I’ll polish the devils crown

Castle dreams, I’m falling now

Off the top, but I can’t fly

Mind made up to late, don’t want to die

One last wish I make with a cry

Then I fall out of the sky.

Words

My mind is wild

My head is blank

Thoughts free flow

Until penned and inked

My creative words

Come unrehearsed

As if not mine

But from the universe

My hands they know

Before my head

What these words

Will make again.

Twisted

Watch as things change before my eyes

See how you covered all your lies

Twisting thoughts with memories

Make me forget now

Make me forget please?

Actions covered with slick words

The only problem, your voice isn’t heard

Forgetting now won’t change a thing

There’s nothing left for you and me

Uneven ground

Uneven ground,  I try not to frown
Don’t you see how you can make me happy?
Uneven grownd, I’ll stumble around
Lost with no direction
Pointless even to myself
I’ll let you use me, though you’re bad for my health
My mind a twisted place, like an out of control mental case
Uneven ground, I’m lost not found
Don’t you see how you make me unhappy?
I smile anyway, like you didn’t just rune my day
Tomorrow? I bet I’ll do the same
It’s just like any other day
I’ll smile, and never once complain
No I won’t speak of the pain
This uneven ground maybe I don’t want to be found
Lost I can fake it, hide all the hurt
Lost I can act like I don’t deserve better than dirt

nothing and no one

Nothing and no one, I go home alone

Sadness, beside my self

when did life get so overblown

There is no worse life then being all alone

So tell me if this house will ever be a home

Nothing and no one, I go to sleep again

There is no warmth beside me in my too big bed

Watch me as makeup melts all down my face

These things I wont say, Wont be a charity case

Nothing and no one shares my meal at night

Nothing and no one turns out the light

Nothing and no one shares this too big bed

And nothing and no one would care if I were dead.

Twisted Words

Broken mind

Twisting words all the time

Try and decipher

How I wish you can

But I’ll watch you get lost

In this word waste land

I can’t say, can’t explain

What it is I need to say

I’ll write it down

You’ll look and frown

It’s plain and simple

Can’t you see?

It’s spelled out there

In pen and ink.

Some times it feels as if my mind is broken. I can tell you this much: it does not seem to work like anyone else I have encountered. If you ask me to express myself, or explain how I’m feeling at a certain time or about something you probably wouldn’t hear me ramble on about how I feel. You would likely get me scrambling for a piece of paper and a pen. Often times I find myself at a lack of words to say; but even when that happens there will be some form of a poem running through my mind. It’s never that I have nothing to say, it’s that if I started say exactly what came to mind I would sound mad. Because it makes sense to me, but to anyone else… It would seem crazy to just start rambling off these words.

Lifeless

Counting the days until I die

I’m not one for suicide

I’ll live every hellish day

And hate it all anyway

As this pain squeezes my heart

This is no life, where was my start?