Never had.

You can’t talk

to me

I make you sick

With negative

Antics

My mood

Is sour

My thoughts

Are black

I’m pushing away

What I never had

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Told me so

I pushed to much
You let me know
I pushed to far
You’re letting go
Distance so long
I couldn’t cross it in miles
A heart so empty
Like you turned down the dials
I should have let it be
I shouldn’t have forced it so
Hard that it died
Right before my eyes
I tried to make it grow
But now you’re letting go
Not quick or all at once
With a step then another one
I can see you take it slow
Some thing I should have known
Because you told me so

Give a damn

Maybe I

Need to leave

To run

Be free

Not feel trapped

I’d crawl out

Of my skin

Given the chance

A change

Of pace

I need a plan

Get out of bed

Give a damn

Weak

I never claimed to be strong

I know I am weak

I know I am things I shouldn’t be

I know I am wrong

That it’s all on me

I know I should try

To change these things I cannot see

You say you aren’t sick

Or tired or me

But the way you push

Says a story you won’t say

Shows me how you feel

Why you push me away

100

I feel like an alien

In my own skin

With a brain like

The walking dead

A werewolf that

Can never change

A vampire gone unfed

new year, same megan. 

I’ve been broken

Far too long

Wrote more than one

Too many sad song

At the bottom

I do fine

Drag me up

And I’ll hide

Self preservation

Mixes with fear

The bad is all

I’ll ever hear

Look to the future

But see that past

The one that broke 

The one life I had

Scars (the one I won’t talk about)

As I try to find the words

For how you fucked me up

I realized there’s nothing to say

But with the scars I’m stuck

You took me to my lowest point

A hole you dug yourself

Convinced me it was only you

And to push everyone else out

You made me feel crazy

For thinking things that were real

Every time I would question

You’d start to spin the wheel

To how I didn’t trust you

Didn’t love you

Couldn’t feel

Made me out to be

Just some little broken thing

Who couldn’t see the truth

The one that you did choose

Every fight was ended

With the same empty threat

Lock the bathroom door

Say you should kill yourself

Leaving me pleading

Begging to help

Now looking back

I finally see you

The coward

The liar

The vile cheat

There were so many things

You wouldn’t let me see

How you used me

Abused me

Made me question myself

Now I fear I’m ruined

Never to trust someone else

The End

With one word 
I hear ten

It’s got me on

The move again

To run so fast

So far way

A place where I

Can disappear 

Somewhere that won’t 

Hold such fear

I feel you slip

Move away

I knew the day

Would come to pass

Nothing good

In my life lasts

Winters Night

In the dead of the night

With nowhere else to go

I’ll watch the snow fall

As the howling wind blows

I’ll let the cold burrow

Deep into my bones

I’ll let my thoughts scatter

Into the unknown

Wondering what it’ll take

For me to feel at home

Wondering if I’ll ever 

Stop feeling so alone

It took the silence of a snow fall

To ease my trembling heart

With the darkness of the world 

I realized mine wasn’t falling apart

As the cold seeped in

I realized that while it might be thin

My soul was there

With out a tear

It might be a little worse for wear

But it’s still there